Ughhhh. Probably about 1000 calories in one sitting. UGHHHHHH.Don't beat yourself up, don't beat yourself up, just work it off tomorrow...
My gawdddd. I'm gonna tell you a bit about a friendship I have with a girl called B. She was my best friend but got so clingy that I've gradually gone off her... thing is, she's still stuck on me like blu tack. And without wanting to sound all moany or vain, she tends to copy me... a lot. If you've ever experienced this, you'll KNOW it's so annoying. She took my identity - my music taste, my clothes taste... she fully admitted that she wanted to be me. And that drove me up the wall.
Anyway, been attempting to drift apart from B but she really is like a clingy girlfriend. Luckily she doesn't go to the same uni as me and is about 200 miles away currently so I do get a bit of a break from her.
Remember I mentioned my friend H, in my first post? She's so tiny, she can fit into a size 4... bikini pictures of her appeared on Facebook and she looks BUFF as usual.
B skypes me and says "I think we should make a pact - whoever looks more like H by Christmas can have dinner bought for them by the other! We have 3 and a half months to slim down. The competition will help us get motivated!"
This... makes me sick.
For one, friends don't compete. Good friends support each other. Frenemies compete. Competitive friends are friends who are threatened by each other. Why would she suggest we compete? I told M and the first thing she said was "talk about a good way to get anorexic!"
(I laughed it off and bit my tongue...)
She tried to lose weight over summer. She lost 2 lbs. I lost 12. She doesn't do ANY exercise. She has no muscle definiton. She's ridiculously unfit. She now weighs about a stone more than me - without ANY muscle.
Why am I so angry by the idea of her comparing us? And why, oh why, do I now feel INCREDIBLY competitive, and want to starve myself day in day out so I can show her how to do it??
Is she implying that I NEED to lose weight, or tone up, as much as she does?
I was so wary about writing this post. I know I'm coming off like such a dick right now. I sound ridiculous. I sound like a bitch.
I WANT TO WIN.
My mission is to be H's size. H generally wears size 6-8 these days. I want to be size 6. I'm GOING to be size 6.
And I'm going to bloody make that happen in the next 3 and a half months.
I'm sorry. I'm such a nob. Please, please don't think less of me because of this post... I just want to VENT.
Ughhhhhh. Did I say that already?
Q x
not at all! thanks for being honest. even if people don't agree with what you're saying, everyone would have the same thought process if they admit it or not :) maybe it wouldn't be so bad to compete with her in a friendly way (considering you're not that attached to her anymore) - it could give you an excuse as to why you're losing weight? you could say you and your friend are both trying to get in shape for summer? but revealing it as a competition could have some ppl irked (coz it is a bit weird lol). but then it might be better to just keep it about you.
ReplyDeletegood luck (haha that has a new meaning now doesn't it?) let us know what you decide xx
Don't you worry about feeling bad at all. I know exactly what you mean, and its enough to drive someone up a wall. In a weird way, when I had a friend like that, I always wanted to look better, get higher grades, be more likeable, ect.. just to prove that she couldnt be me. You know?
ReplyDeleteI'd say go for this challenge and let your annoyance fuel you for superskinny motivation!
Don't stress- you can always be honest and open on here!
ReplyDeleteI reckon it depends if you want to keep the friendship.... if you do then don't compete (outwardly at least!) but maybe support each other (you know phone calls checking up on motivation, exercise, meal ideas etc) If she annoys you enough that you don't think you have a friendship in the future then go nuts- she was the idiot that suggested it- kick butt! xxx
Thanks for the comments guys! I really do feel MASSIVELY competitive now so I guess that'll give me extra drive. And lovelybones, that's how I feel too with this girl! I want to be better...
ReplyDeleteQ x