Aftermath

Thank you for the lovely comments about my awful gym session yesterday. You guys really made me feel so much better! Looking back, I think I over-reacted a bit... I mean, he put electrodes in my feet and did a body test and it DID say I had too much body fat... maybe everyone else is in the healthy zone, and I'm dangerously over? Even if it's not visible. It was quite depressing because I'm about 30% fat, but when I was talking to my housemates they were all "how much were you? Oh I was 13%... oh, I was 12%." I know they're boys so they're obviously going to have much less fat on them but still, I'm chilling there with 30%!

Yesterday was generally quite a bad day. Though it had its good points.

I've completely gone off eating past 4pm. I don't know what it is. And yesterday, my gym trainer told me to actually burn fat on the treadmill, you have to be running for over 20 minutes. The first 20 minutes burn carbs, and every minute after that burns fat. Considering I did about 22 minutes the other day, that means only 2 minutes was actually burning fat. Hence why I hate carbs now. If I don't eat any, does that mean I'll get to fat-burning quicker? Humm.

I seriously have no food.

It's strange, to know losing weight is not about being skinny and perfect any more. It's not about my own body insecurities and matching up to the media image. This is about my health. I NEED to reduce my body fat percentage. It's unhealthy. Motivating, huh? I feel like an obese person forced to lose weight in order to live.

Yesterday was return of Boy, as well... he invited me to his housemate's gig and I went along with M, though she disappeared pretty sharpish, saying she'd be back in 10 minutes (and came back an hour later, as I was leaving, yelling at me for leaving her). M kind-of ruined that night, especially as she texted me afterwards calling me a dick and whatnot. She seems to get a bit funny about me and Boy. I'm not even the type of girl to ditch friends unreasonably for a bloke, so it annoys me how my friends react... my friend B actually had a panic attack once thinking about what it would be like if I went out with him and therefore didn't talk to her as often! I did have a good night with Boy though, and fell asleep curled up with him afterwards on his sofa watching Inglourious Basterds.

Walking home (I had to, as I had M's keys) was the scariest shit of my life... so many weirdos, and this guy in a car pulled up next to me and was driving at my walking distance going "Hey darlin, need a lift? I'll give you a lift" 3 BLOODY TIMES. I was pooing my pants. It got to the point where I just shouted at him "LEAVE ME ALONE!" and he drove off. Still shook me up a bit. Came home to find a drunk L cooking in the kitchen, who was being so sweet about the whole gym session thing "I can't believe he said that to you, Q, there's nothing on you, you have to ignore him, he doesn't know what he's talking about" and "M's just being stupid, it doesn't even matter if she stays in a strop, don't let it bother you". Bless him. I seriously love L. He's the cutest thing.

I'm glad yesterday's over and done with. Vive today!

Q x