Feeling pissy.

2468 day 1 was a massive fail because I had to sit there starving hungry and endure my friends all eating sandwiches and whatnot, and I caved and BINGED. I did go to a fitness class in the evening though. Body Balance it was called - combination of yoga, pilates and Tai Chi (I feeelt very stupid doing the Tai Chi part) and it was a good workout. M got pissy when she found out I went and didn't ask her along. Ugh. Am I not allowed to do anything on my own? Do people forget I actually LIKE my own company and therefore choose to be in it? Pisses me off.

She's been pissing me off all day really, she's just been in a sour mood and all ooooh I'm-so-much-better-than-Q. She started going on about the house we've got for next year - which we unanimously loved when we signed for it - and saying we only chose it because me and L were fussy. And she wishes it was closer to other people. When it's in a PRIME location, very near to uni. Boo hoooo, M, might you have to get up off your arse and actually take an extra couple of steps to get anywhere? Shame.

Her face when I said I went to a fitness class without her. Why should she assume she has to come with me? She's always like this. I'm sick of feeling so tied down to people. I HATE being tied down. I can't wait to leave uni and move on without the old baggage, as I always do. New days. I always seem to end up with some clingy friend who can't handle the idea that I don't love them as much as they love me. Right now I'm dealing with M here AND B at home. I feel like I'm in weird relationships with them. Frustrating. Don't like it. I suppose B's more the extreme - she had a panic attack in the middle of the night when I was with Boy and she thought we might get together and I'd therefore spend less time talking to her - but the principle's the same.

I remember speaking to Boy once and he told me he wasn't looking forward to this year as he was living with a load of boys who were already on his course, and he thought he'd get sick of them or didn't want to spend all his time hanging around with the same people or whatever. I don't think I really sympathised at the time, but now I do. L does both my course AND dance, and M is going on about joining dance just because both her housemates will be in it, and even said "oh I'm sooo picking all the modules you do, Q" (she's already on my course) and I'm starting to panic. I might be driven insane. Or worse, we'll have a massive fall-out. And whilst last year whenever we fell out we snapped back together because we realised how much we loved each other, next year I might just get so sick of them both and move out or something.

I need a boyfriend. I need a DISTRACTION.

I will get out of this bad mood soon, and remember that I love my mates and that I need to stop being such a dick, but I'm in a ranty mood right now.

I hope this is PMS. Would explain the binge, too.

Bleghehghkjskjdaslj!

I'm thinking now how much easier next year would be if I had a boyfriend. I don't really have time for one now, but I feel like next year I'd have less time in lectures and stuff (plus won't take so many dance classes) and it'd just be a nice touch to have. Who is there, though? Maybe one of my current housemates. Wouldn't be weird to shack up if we're not living together, right? UGH, no, would definitely still be VERY weird.

I'd better start the hunt for potentials... sigh, Hot Guy From London, where are youuu?

Q x