I'm sorry I haven't been updating much. I've been in a mad I've-got-loads-of-work-waaa place in my life, which means I can get very forgetful about other stuff! It's exam period and we're all going nuts. Most of my housemates have stopped sleeping. How do they pull all-nighters two days in a row? I'm the youngest and I happily think I'm too old for that...It also means the gym's taken a back seat. BOO. I barely have any time to go until Friday at the mo. Not only work (the 4500 words are coming along, er, nicely) but we've also got to cram in house-hunting; which I'm really excited about, actually. Me, M and a dance friend I'll call L are living together next year, so it'll be such a nice change from a messy, 8-bedroom boys' house to a little, cute girls' house. We can walk around in our underwear or looking like shit without risk of running into completely random hot guys (which happens far too often!) Hoorah! And by then I'll look HOT in my underwear...
The New Year's Resolutions are coming along nicely, actually. When it comes to being more girly I've been keeping my nails painted all the time (which lets them grow - so when they're long and pretty-looking I don't chew the skin around my fingers, yes!), worn lots of jingly bracelets and put more effort into looking nice every time I leave the house, ha. I've also taken to exfoliating my skin every time I shower (something I didn't do very often before) and covering it in body butter when I come out, though I'm not entirely sure if that actually does anything except leave me feeling a bit sticky...
I've also left the straighteners untouched since I've got back. Hooray! My NY resolution was to only use them for nights out, and I like to think my hair is thanking me for not being frazzled every day. All this effort on my appearance has me feeling far more confident about myself. It sounds vain, but with recent comments I've heard, and with the looks I get from random people walking around uni, I've started to think, maybe I am one of those girls people look at and think, wow. I don't think it's down to my looks; I think it's my confidence! They say that kind of thing shows through, right? I hope so.
Of course, my weight's still gross, but it's alright, we can fix it.
As for food... M's come back, and I think she's a bad influence on me. She'll just say things like "let's eat this" and I'll just cave and say yes because I'm so hungry. When I'm hungry I need to be alone or I WILL cave at the smallest suggestions; I guess I have to man up a bit and say no. Make up excuses. Bahh. So I've been eating fairly, ugh, normally as of late, though I am still trying to not eat past 5pm. My weight's been cool with it, flitting around between 9 stone 3 and 5, but I NEED to get it lower. Once my work's cleared and I'm back at the gym, I might try the 2 4 6 8 again to break down into the 8 stone category. I can get there! I've just got to suck it up and get with the programme. And get over M's influence, haha.
It's funny, my friend K who was always quite big looks like she's lost weight over the holidays, and M seems very resentful of that. Maybe she is one of those people who hates the idea of people getting skinnier than her? She did flip out when I weighed my lowest before, in October. I'd hate for her to sabotage my efforts. Hummmm.
Always forgot to mention it - hooray for followers now in the 30s! If it gets to 50 and I have a working camera I'll do a body shot, eek. Be prepared; it ain't pretty!
Alright, see ya :)
Q x
Eew, exams...bleh ><. I would day "good luck" but that can lead to bad luck, so I wish you the best in all your exams! I could never pull all nighters- I stay up until midnight and I'm crappy all the next day! That's col you're going to be getting your own place soon! Girls seem to keep nicer smelling homes-well, for the most part.
ReplyDeleteWorrying about your looks isn't vain, it just show you care about how you look every day! That's awesome people you don't even know are giving you compliments! And yes, confidence DOES show through!
There are people out there who hate their friends being thinner than they are (I'm not saying M is like that or anything). Like you'll start to lose weight and they'll be all like, "Ooh, you're getting too skinny! You need to eat because women are supposed to have curbes!" But everyone knows that crap- just because they want to eat everything doesn't mean everyone else around them has too!
xoxo
Good luck with your exams if you have put the work in you should do just great!! Let us know how you go =)
ReplyDeleteI used to have a blog awhile ago but now I am on a journey to recovery, to better eating habits so I have created a new blog!! I chose to follow people who have distorted eating as I feel they understand what I am going through a lot better and wont judge me if I have an out of control day =) I would be great if we could support each other =)
“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”
♥ Bree