Hanging

200 cal day was pretty successful until the evening... but I'm still going to count it as a success. A coffee (35), an apple (65) and this random little Splendips snack (about 100). Course, yeah, then there was the alcohol... urgh, I'm so hungover today. It probably hit me more than usual because of the lack of food. I fell over SO MANY TIMES. Swear I spent more time on the floor than anywhere else last night. I did the booze calculator again and again, drank 10 units, 580 cals, equivalent of burger and danish pastry. I wish I HAD eaten a burger and a danish pastry instead... probably wouldn't have given me a hangover like this today!

Didn't even see that boy from the party in the end. I didn't expect to as soon as we arrived - the club was PACKED, and any chances of running into him were slim to nil. He did say at the party he wasn't sure about going because he was so knackered. I'm annoyed though, as now I don't know when I'll next see him (the friend who introduced me to him I don't know all that well and don't see very often), so I feel like again, I've missed my chance! Why did he leave that party so early? Bah. It was definitely low on the boy front last night (amy, no need to be jealous of me, my boy life is pretty crap!) - though I do weirdly remember giving some bloke my number in the loos (there are communal sinks) and I think I was so drunk I randomly typed in my friend's number into his phone... a number I've had stuck in my head since I was about 11... genuinely believing it was my own. I ran away before totally realising what I'd done and he followed me and seemed pissed off, said something angry to me and ran off. Oh dear, H, I'm sorry if you got any random texts or phone calls last night...

At least I didn't get any takeaway after the night out. Funny how it's such a thing ALL my friends do, and I'm always completely starving after a night out, and it was always something we used to do, but now, it just doesn't even come into my head. I did watch my mate eating his pizza with a lot of envy, though - he polished off the entire thing and then went on about making noodles - how do boys eat so much and stay skinny as sticks? He's the lankiest thing I've ever seen. Not even that - how do they eat so much without their stomachs exploding?? I was raised on small portions and as a result it's given me a teeny stomach compared to my friends (and I bet restricting it has helped it along) and I think I would honestly be full after one slice. I'd carry on eating anyway being the food whore I am, but if I stopped and thought about it all, I could probably stop eating and be happy after one slice. Whenever I eat a proper, hardcore meal, I'm always stuffed and bloated at the end. My stomach can't hack it! But I'll eat it anyway. Don't get me wrong - this isn't a blessing when it comes to restricting. I'll still have a good old binge when I want to (though my binges are probably a lot smaller compared to some.)

I can't wait to be teeny tiny skinny like the girls in that picture. I got on the scales last night out of curiousity and it was 9 stone 2! I was so frustrated because I felt SO CLOSE to the 8 stone margin, something I've been wanting for so long. Fuck it, I WILL get there. I'm not going to weigh myself as often, though - I'm thinking every time I finish a 2 4 6 8 cycle. Fingers crossed it speeds things along.

Plan for today! 400 cals - so a bowl of cereal (100), coffee (35), apple (65) and I'm thinking maybe some soup, which should be 200 cals ish. Bring on today!

Q x