Long time

Oh geez, it's been over a week since I posted! Woops. I need to get back on the ball.

Right, so at the moment... well, my eating's kinda rubbish. I wouldn't say I'm eating normally, but I'm eating far more than I should. I've been going to the gym every day as of late (now dance has stopped, I need SOME exercise fix) so I'm hoping that'll pay off... I haven't weighed myself in a little while. The last time I did it was 9 stone 6.

I'm dying to get back to my lowest weight on this journey, which was 9 stone 2. And then to get under 9 stone. That's my current massive goal.

Is anyone else madly excited for New Year's? January, time to make fresh starts! Real motivation. I've got loads of New Year's resolutions that I'm going to stick to. Here are a few:

- Get skinny. IT WILL HAPPEN. I'll be sure of it. Get back into the 8 stone category, at least. The other day a boy mate lifted me and said "blimey Q, you've put on weight!" and I know he was only messing around and all that but I wanted to die. I want them to be saying "blimey Q, you're getting lighter!"

- Stop chewing the skin around my fingernails. And grow my fingernails too. And just generally have nice nails.

- Keep my room tidy. I'm such a naturally messy person, it's annoying to live in a constantly messy environment. I'll hoover it every other day, as well. My floor gets covered in shit straight away. And clumps of hair. I have such dark hair that the clumps often look like spiders on my carpet.

- Be more open with boys... last year's resolution too, which worked, but the crushing blow from Boy has made me a bit more scared. In New Year's I'll get over that and get back to being forward, as it gets me where I want to be. Saying that, I don't want a boyfriend. This sounds awful, but I want a fuck buddy. Someone who can give me just a sex fix without all the commitment. I don't have time for commitment. But I do miss sex.

- Stop getting so ridiculously drunk... seriously, I need to control that!

- Exercise more. Exercise loads every day. Get more workout DVDs and do them inbetween gym sessions. I need exercise. It's what got me down to my lowest weight, and it'll get me further from now on.

I'm going home in a few days, and whilst I'm excited, I know home will bring a lot more food... I'm prepared for that on Christmas Day (I'm ready to PIG OUT) but the days surrounding it will be more tricky. I'm really going to have to exercise the self control, but I'm sure I'll get through it. I WILL BE SKINNY.

What are your resolutions?

Q x