Saturday 13 August 2011

Birthday dilemmas

So I take what I said back about my job - yesterday I was literally sweating I was running around the place so much. I passed one of my colleagues and she jokingly said 'you do seem to be up and down - that's better than the gym!' Oh man, I hope that has some grain of truth in it - obviously not that it's better than the gym, but just might have some small contribution to my exercise. Which has been slacking.

No 7am jog for me today, as myself and the sister are going to 2 exercise classes - one of those Thighs, Bums and Tums ones, and then a street dance workout afterwards. I quite need the street dance one as choreography for the next semester of teaching is going horribly. As in, I have choreographer's block. And I'd like some sort of inspiration. I'm also going to Pineapple Dance Studios in London on Monday with a couple of friends, and I'm making sure we do some sort of street or commerical street class whilst we're there, as Pineapple classes are always really awesome. I haven't properly danced for so long, and last time I was at Pineapple, the warm-ups plus the pressure of being surrounded by incredible dancers made me really push myself; I think at the time I reached the peak of my dancing ability. I suppose it helps that I always have to stand at the front of a dance class (I'm claustrophobic when I dance!) and in a class with semi-pros, come on, I had to put out properly.

So Monday should be great.

Not sure what to expect with weigh-day, but I'd be happy just to see one pound gone. I'm hoping I can burn quite a lot of calories with this morning's classes. Haven't got round to buying any green tea yet, but I'm thinking I'll start it when I go on my mega shopping trip by myself after payday. With money! And for once I can forget I am a poor student and simply pretend I am normal and can afford to shop in normal places. Hopefully the birthday will bring a little bit of money, too.

Sigh. Speaking of the birthday, it's stressing me out. It's in 9 days, and I sort of wish it wasn't happening. I have no idea what to do for it - a) because I'm poor, and b) it's difficult to know who to invite. At home, I have a lot of close friends, but they're all from separate groups and it's hard to do something where I can involve all of them without it being massively awkward. I want my birthday to have SOME sort of climax, you know? Like a big night out. But it's so much harder back here than it is at uni. I know the easiest thing is 'well, just don't do anything for it' but that seems so lame. Like I said, it'd all be easier if it just wasn't happening.

What a depressing thing to say about one's 20th birthday! Ho hum.

B's insisting on taking me out to dinner for it. I'm hesitant. One, because she wants to take me to an awful restaurant that she thinks is good, and two, because I'm starting to wonder how much I like being around B these days. Even without her diet boasting, I'm starting to suspect we're drifting apart. I'm going to try and keep being around her on the minimum right now, as I don't want our friendship to crumble completely, but I know it will if we spend too much time together and I end up snapping at her out of irritation. I have a friend I only see once every few months, and we always have the most amazing time together because it's such a treat to see each other. I hope my friendship with B will blossom into something like that.

Doesn't it seem sort of... coupley for one person to take you out for dinner for your birthday? It's no secret that B's bisexual, and whilst I know for a fact that she has no feelings for me (any more) I'd prefer to split the bill or something. It'd feel more like friends going out to dinner then, and not so much me being courted.

Still dreaming of when I can run away on my own post-uni. Preferably to somewhere like New York. I watched a tv show about interns at Elle magazine and half of the magazine staff (including the Editor) were British, so that gives me hope! I've always heard it's incredibly difficult if not impossible to find work like that in the States when you have to do visa rubbish, but then again, Anna Wintour's British too. I think my dream life would be working my way up to a Features Director or Associate Editor or something like that in New York, and then coming home to London and being the Editor of a magazine. I'm going to work my arse off to make sure something like that happens, I swear.

Anyway, enough! I must go and prep myself for Thighs, Bums and Tums.

Ta-ra!

Q x

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