<< This is probably one of my favourite Thinspo pics. I'd KILL for that figure.I'm sorry I haven't posted a lot as of late - I've been madly busy. The new 2-week job is knocking me off my feet, and I've had so much on my mind, including a HUGE step towards my career in journalism (I won't be specific, but next week I'm attending a features meeting at one of the biggest glossy magazines in the country, bang in the middle of London!)
I've been steadying myself with the workout DVDs, but I don't think I'm losing because I'm still eating too much. I'm not gaining, though, which is ok - at least, I THINK I'm not (I haven't gone near Rick since the 11 stone scare.) I went clothes shopping yesterday, though, and got a playsuit that I look pretty skinny in, and I'm still comfortable in size 10, so I'm staying hopeful.
This morning I was going through my Facebook and detagging pics (I'm tagged in nearly 3000 because of all the photo-whoring at uni and that just seems a bit sad.) I went right from the earliest pic of me and all the way through to today. My god, my weight shifts a lot. It's subtle, but obvious to me. Before uni, I was so SKINNY. I must've never realised it. Clothes look good on me! I wish wish wish I looked like that still. Going through uni, it got gradually more depressing, peaking right before Summer 2010 - my 10 stone 4 phase! I cringed at all those photos. Then it got a bit promising again, in September 2011, but now, it's just a bit sad. I also seem to have got gradually less pretty in the face, though I'm not sure why that is. Maybe I wore more make-up back in the day.
I've got a bit of a new mantra for my third year at uni, though. I'm going to be classier. And much more confident. I have a weird thing where I hate bumping into people into the street and feel all awkward. New resolution - get over that! Smile and greet people and NOT BE AWKWARD. Always wear nice outfits. Never be seen or photographed in a bad outfit outside of my house. And just be nicer! In first year I was known as this girl who was ridiculously nice. And I mean, I'm still very nice to people, but I think it's been fading a bit due to the stress of second year. Smile more! Smile ALL THE TIME. I have an Irish friend who just has a permanent smile fixed on his face and I've always admired that. Make people happy just by seeing them. I think that'll be easier as I'm living in such a small house next year, so when I run into the boys I live with, they won't take me for granted, because it's not like they see me all the time any more.
I know you're sick of hearing about my regular fix-up resolutions, but I need to give myself a goal. Next year is going to be MY year at uni!
I've moved out of my uni house now. I can't wait to move into my new one.
Oh! I believe I MAY have found the cure to the constant chewing of the skin on my fingers! Would you believe, the answer lies in moisturising cream. My cousin (who does it too) recommended it; she said with less dry skin to pick at, you won't pick and pull skin loose as much. My mum got me a little tube from Tesco (it's got stuff in it that helps skin heal, too) and it's worked a treat. Every time I start picking, I go and moisturize my hands and I stop. I think it's partly psychological too, but whatev, it works. I carry it with me wherever I go.
Wahey, life!
Q x
mantras and resolutions are always good. they put you back on track - focused and motivated :) i definitely agree with the being NICE thing. i can get easily impatient with people and am sometimes intolerant for irrational reasons, but then i always think of girls who are liked because they are just plain friendly to everyone, and that's true for me too because i like them for that reason. you do truly need to act how you would like to be treated, and be what you admire in others.
ReplyDeletei forgot we were skin chewing buddies! yeh eliminating those loose bits is definitely a big help. i always have the most trouble after the shower because all the tears show up from pruning. ugh such a gross habit.
x
Great job on furthering your journalism career! Taking steps forward in the direction you want to go with your life is always a great thing! It's weird when we look at pictures of ourselves over the years and see how far we've come and how much we've changed. I wish I had a lot of pictures of myself over the past few years. It's crazy how we can see even the smallest difference in our own appearance that no one else can see!
ReplyDeleteI think smiling more is a good idea- everyone could use more smiles in their lives. People probably think I'm always unhappy because I never smile- I am happy for the most part. I guess I just need to learn how to show it! Seeing others smile a lot makes others around them more happy! I pick at the skin around my fingers too- mainly the cuticles. Yesterday I bought some stuff just for cuticles (it has the consistency of chap stick) and that helps too!
♥