Procrastination post

Should be doing an essay... ah well!

The social with the Lacrosse boys was surprisingly good considering I was sober. We were all worried they'd be laddish and rowdy but they were all surprisingly sweet - they seemed more scared of us than we were of them! I'd be happy to party with them again in future - they'll be with us on the Spain trip coming up very soon, along with all of the other sports teams, so at least we'll be able to see some familiar faces while we're out in obscure Spanish nightclubs. As for the net outfit... hmm, not bad. I looked a bit stupid at the end of the night as at the start, I'd pinned bits like seaweed and starfish to myself but they all came off and I ended up looking like I was simply draped in netting material. Hmm! Oh well.

I redid 200-day (first one was a fail due to late night munchies) and that wasn't bad at all - it's much easier if I do it on a day where I'm going out in the evening, as it prevents me from eating late at night. Today's 400, and so far I've eaten a bowl of cereal and had a coffee, which averages out to around 150 cals. Considering it's 2 o'clock in the afternoon, that's not too shabby!

I'm going home on Saturday and it's going to be hard to monitor my food intake, but I'll do my best. I can't wait to go home - although I have to sacrifice hardcore calorie-counting, it's nice to see my family and friends and just have some time for relaxation. And in 9 days I'm off to Spain! If I feel depressed about my weight, I just have to remind myself that this time last year, when I went to Spain, I was a stone heavier. So I've got to look better than I did then, right?

Ugh, you know what's depressing - there's this girl I've always wanted to BE, who's gorgeous and tiny and has amazing dress sense and is such a humble and lovely person, and she's recently changed her Facebook picture to one of her and her best friend sitting on a kerb outside a European nightclub - my god. If that picture finds its way on to a Thinspiration site, I wouldn't be surprised. They LOOK like those girls we aspire to look like, all tiny and perfect and relaxed, with their slender legs and arms and naturally blonde hair and gorgeous faces - arghhh. Life's not fair! They're naturally like that, too - they don't eat LOADS, but they eat normally, and they have small bones so they're naturally petite. I have small bones too but I've got so much FAT clinging to them - it's not fair!

Soon, I'll look like her. COME ON, Q. Use her as thinspiration if you need to.

Today's an essay day, but I'm going to the gym later! Why aren't I skinny yet! Life's unfair.

On a plus... people are starting to upload pictures of us dancing in dance rehearsals, ones that were taken offstage. Full-length pics. There's this one photo... you know when you're in motion, and you're a bit blurred at the edges? And that can either work in your favour or against you - the blur can either make you look twice as big as normal, or twice as small. I got lucky. A full-length picture I'm proud of! I know it's unnatural as I look like I've got small boobs (I wish I did - if I had the body I have in this pic I'd be so happy), but it's still great. I'm with 3 other girls and I look like the smallest in the crew. I guess the blur worked the other way for them. Ah, camera tricks! So much for 'the camera never lies'...

Alright, have to finish this essay now, and then get outside in the sunshine! It needs to be done.

See yaaa,

Q x