MuPPet

I've busted the 'p' button on my keyboard. Every time I write the letter, it's because I've copied and pasted it and have to click ctrl V every time I want to use it. My keyboard's kind of weird and sometimes the letters don't work if there's something stuck underneath it, and I guess I'm pretty grubby, coz there are a lot of crumbs all over it. There must be something massive stuck under the p button. Normally I can stick my head close to it and blow and the thing gets dislodged, but this one's a stubborn bastard. Luckily p isn't a letter that you need to use all that often. If it had been the letter e, I would have been pissed off.

Don't know why I thought I'd share that, but I thought I would.

Before I forget, yep, Ariana, we do wear hats on special occasions! I think the royalty wear them all the time. Some of them are pretty horrific, but they're standard at weddings. We call them fascinators and they're normally attached to a hairband. And the pope didn't marry them! Where'd you hear that? It was the Archbishop of Canterbury, which is still very awesome. Canterbury's a really religious place in the UK, if you ever read Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, it's all about these people going on a pilgrimage to Canterbury. If I had gone to Kent university, which I was very close to going to, I would have graduated in Canterbury cathedral, which would have been incredible.

I just went for coffee and had a chat with my dancer friend, the one who's gotten really skinny. I do respect her. She's so chilled with food, but so healthy and tiny - she puts it all down to healthy eating and LOTS of exercise. It kind of makes me want to just forget about food and exercise a lot and I could look like her, but I know I couldn't. Her studying is dancing, which is exercise, then she fits in exercise around her studying. So her life is exercise. I don't have time to make my life exercise, so it has to involve some restricting. I am jealous of her, though.

It's funny, being at my sister's yesterday, we were talking about this girl they knew who checked the calorie content on everything and didn't eat much. They were saying she was so skinny, but only so because she was so careful with what she ate. My sister said to me, "you never check the calories on packets, do you, Q?" "No..." I lied, which is true at the moment (I'm really letting myself go at home, but of course I normally always check calories) and she just went "you don't. You're just naturally slim."

I'm not, at all, but whatever. But even if I am slimmer than some people, it's not natural - I do dance a lot and spend a lot of time at the gym. I found out recently that the gym I joined has chains all over the country, including round here, so I might be able to use a local one in Summer with the same membership, which would be amazing.

I definitely think I've put on weight at home. I think it's gone to my waist, as I was looking in the mirror this morning and I looked squarer than usual. Which is a bit depressing, but at least that's an area I can (generally) keep hidden.

I'm looking forward to Monday and kicking off the 2 4 6 8 again. Monday's a day of travelling for me so I should be able to distract myself from food. I'll sleep on the coach and just forget about eating when I get back to uni because straight away, I have a meeting and I have to get working. I'm a bit nervous because I've got an event on Thursday and I really want to look skinny for that, but that will only be after one round of the 2 4 6 8. Still, might have lost a pound or two? Better than nothing.

I want to look good in a bikini by Summer. I must! 2 4 6 8 is going to be SUCCESSFUL.

Ta ra! Now to fix my p button...

Q x

Happy Royal Wedding day!

Oh my god, Kate Middleton. I want to be you. Not only are you now a certified princess, but your hair! Your body! Your dress! Your face! Your smile!

It's been such a nice day across the country. We've all been out and about having street parties, or indoors with friends. I went to my sister's to join her university friends in a mini party and we waved our little Union Jacks around whilst watching all the vows and every moment of the day. I found myself welling up quite a lot. Kate's dress was incredible! Well done, Sarah Burton. Kate looked so regal, almost like a medieval queen. Queenie looked nice too, in lovely yellow, as did Kate's mum in her blue ensemble, though Beatrice and Eugienie looked awful. One of them (I never know which is which) was wearing a fascinator that resembled antlers. Dear god. Wills was looking as lovely as ever in red, despite the premature balding, and Harry still had his boyish charm in his uniform. He, as Best Man, was hanging around a lot with Kate's chief bridesmaid, her sister Pippa - now that's a romance I'd love to see!

Sorry, I forget a lot of people reading this won't be interested at all in all this British royal rubbish, but it's been such a nice day. BBC and ITV have had round-the-clock coverage and it's all anyone can talk or think about right now. I just have a twinge of sadness knowing Diana wasn't there to see her son marry the woman he loved (a rarity in royal land). Apart from that, the day seemed perfect. Sigh!

Oh, I got my hair done. The hairdressers had never done dip-dye before but improvised with highlights underneath my hair, and I think it looks amazing. It's subtle, but really nice. Everyone seems to like it, so can't complain!

Oh, rahh. What a spiffing day.

Good mood!

Tally ho,

Q x

U G L Y, I ain't got no alibi!

Sorry I haven't been posting much recently. I'll be honest with you. I still come on Blogger, read blog posts and look at pictures, but I don't post because I feel so GUILTY. I can't get over how much I'm eating at the mo. It's disgusting. I've generally been feeling reeeally unattractive since Spain. I'm fat. Fat fat fat. Ricky might not say so (I stepped on the other day and he said 9 stone 5, which isn't TOO bad, though it's not the 9 stone 1 I want to see) but I feel it. I can see it all the time. The Spain photos are horrendous! I look awful in all of them (though, to be fair, I was pretty drunk in most.) My skin looks bad. My teeth look HORRID. I had some minor dental surgery recently and my dentist told me to use this mouthwash to help my gums restore themselves after the surgery, and the side effect of the mouthwash is stained teeth. Ugh. They look horrible.

I have no love for my face any more. I've gone off the idea that I'm pretty and decided I'm just a bit weird looking. It's so weird and frustrating, as you know everyone has a good side? My good side makes me look like a normal girl, but my bad side is just - I look bizarre! I have a really strange and horrendous face.

My my, what a woe-is-me post! Let's get on to better notes.

Getting the hair done tomorrow, hopefully. Could be amazing, could be disastrous. My hairdressers said they've never done anything like a dip-dye before, so my hair would require them to flex a whole new technique. That's ok, though, at least that means we can work on the look together and it won't be just let-us-do-your-hair-then-you-have-to-live-with-it-afterwards. 'Naa mean?

I MISS THE GYM.

I miss my thin self.

She'll be baaaack! (Read that in a Terminator-style voice)

Q x

P.S. Has anyone seen 'The Room'? It's this really REALLY bad movie that's become something of a cult film for being so bad it's good (i.e. hilarious.) If you haven't seen it, check it out. Though be prepared to be tempted to face the same fate as the protagonist by the end of the film.

One messy week.

Bleurgh. I'm hungover, sleep deprived and feeling pretty dirty after a 26-hour coach journey from Spain to England (taking the ferry across the channel between the UK and France, natch.) It's been an insane week.

Remember I said I was going with all the sports teams? We had so much fun. My weight took a backseat as I told myself not to sweat and chill out with the food just for the holiday - sadly, late night takeaways were needed to take the edge off the hangover the following day, and plenty of alcohol means my tummy flab will probably come back, but now is the time to take action. I'm back at home so whilst I'm here, I'm going to focus on eating healthily (can't do any fad diets with the mother watching) and exercising every day, and when I go back to uni I'll get back on the 2 4 6 8 - and keep it up, this time! But anyway. My week in Spain.

Talk about pressure to look good! I went with my dance girls and we seemed to develop this reputation for being the hottest team there. Every team wanted a joint social with us, from Tennis to Rugby, whilst teams like Men's Lacrosse and Swimming voted us best looking in their own little polls. This sounds vain. I should make it clear I don't take any credit for this. Some of the girls in Dance are insanely attractive... I give the credit to them. We all are quite girly and do scrub up well, but the other girls are the ones who really gave us the rep. We're all very tanned but a lot of the girls have attractive blonde hair and toned bikini bodies to go with it (though their tan is fake). I just tried to hide in the background so no-one would think I was the ugly one!

Anyway, the food is going to be better from here. I did have a big breakfast today, but I will chill out a bit later and eat steadily. I've realised I have such a bad relationship with food - in Spain, when I allowed myself the freedom to eat more normally, I went mad and stuffed myself to the brim, leading to bloat and painful digestion. I need to find the balance when it comes to eating normally. It seems to be impossible! I think I have this bad mentality where I eat when I'm not hungry, or I allow myself to get so hungry that I end up overeating. I shudder to think that's how women end up obese. Need to get the control back!

Too nervy to go near Ricky. I'll pay him a visit once I've made myself feel a bit more healthy.

I think it's time I have a nap and a shower. Hope to catch up on everyone's blogs soon.

Adios, amigos!

Q x

Feeling competitive

Saw B today. She's all 'oooooh I go to the gym ALL the time I'm just so hardcore! I go every day! I HAVE to! I even turn down nights out to go to the gym! Ahhh I have to watch so carefully what I eat! I can't go over 1500 calories! Oh dear I better be thin soon!'

She can't even do 10 minutes on the treadmill. And she eats 1500 calories a day. Whatever.

Just because I'm eating normally at the moment... STOP TRYING TO BE BETTER THAN ME.

I'm too bloody competitive! I'm tempted to try and get back on to the 2 4 6 8 after this, but it'd be impossible to do 200 calories at home. I'll be back at uni on Thursday, though, so I'll try and do 200 then. And I can hit the gym on Thurs evening and Fri morning. No idea what the food will be like in Spain, but I'll see what I can do to restrict as much as I can.

I cooked today, for my mum - spaghetti with carrots and tomatoes and bacon and basil and other weird bits. It had a name, I've just forgotten it - it was all posh and Italian. Makes me think, though - I should really do this when I'm at uni, spend a good evening cooking, then stick the whole lot in a sandwich box and take a weeny bit with me to uni every day. I'd save so much money! I need to start making lunch my main meal of the day; or rather, my ONLY real meal of the day. I can pick at breakfast and dinner. If I workout every day and do that, I should stay skinny. I'll start practising now!

Ha, I LOVE the American/English differences. I love how we have a mix of British and American people on these blogs, too, so we can marvel at each other's! The biscuits thing is great. I think I explained it in a weird way, though. In England...

These are biscuits:


But only these are cookies:


And these are crackers! Well, these are cream crackers, which is one type. Generally I'd say crackers are anything you'd eat cheese with.


The book I've got is called 'Divided by a Common Language' by Christopher Davies. It's great.

I still think that baseball thing is hilarious! Did you know, baseball evolved from the British game called Rounders? We used to play that in school loads. I hated it. I wasn't any good.

RaeLynn, we really do say 'the loo' - more so than the toilet, or 'the bathroom', which is what Americans say I think! Literally, every time you need to, er, relieve yourself, it's normal to say 'I'm going to the loo.' Maybe 'the toilet' if you're posh, but generally the loo. I'd always say loo. And toilet paper is loo roll. And yep, snogging/pulling is when you kiss someone. I think pulling also applies to sex, but I'm not sure. A colloquial thing around London is 'mac' for sex, as well, so like - 'did you mac?'

Ariana, we do say mashed potato but you're right, it's generally mash! Bangers and mash. Nice. That's sausages and mashed potato. And fries are chips. I think of them differently, though - fries I think of as being quite thin, whereas chips are fat and very, er, potatoey.

I love all these food differences. If any of you Americans happen to be using a British recipe and see that you need a courgette - don't panic! That's what you'd call a zucchini. And eggplants - here we call them aubergines. Jell-o is called jelly to us. And what you'd call jelly, we call jam. Our sweets are your candy. Candyfloss is cotton candy.

Obviously there's all the clothes differences, too. What you'd call pants we call trousers. Pants to us are underwear. Women's underwear are called knickers, whereas you call them panties. What you'd call sweaters we call jumpers.

I've got the book - let's see some more...

There's a difference between the two billions, which I didn't realise. The English billion is a million million, whereas the American billion is a thousand million. So now the world has nearly 7 billion people, is that going by British or American measurement? I wonder...

Do Americans say brilliant? In the book it says 'UK - brilliant = US - great/cool'. I say brilliant loads! Surely everyone in Harry Potter says brilliant? Harry Potter's very British. We don't really have malls, either, we call them shopping centres, though they are sometimes referred to as malls. Normally we just have city centres to shop in, as the shops tend to be all over the place, outside and inside. Technically, in the city where I go to uni, there's three shopping malls in the city centre! And only a few of the shops are actually in them.

If I say someone's dishy, he's cute. We tend to say 'love' as a general nickname, too, like - 'you alright, love?' I think Americans would be more likely to say 'hun'. We also say 'mate'. You've probably heard me say that a lot. Here's a difference that I didn't know existed - do you not have pantomimes in America? They're these big, theatrical performances that happen at Christmas time, normally with celebrities, where classic stories like Peter Pan, Cinderella, Aladdin, etc. are re-worked so they're really comical and entertaining and involve lots of singing and dancing. There's all these stupid pantomime traditions, like having a pantomime dame (a man in drag - normally the main character's mum or something) and having stupid lines like 'he's behind you!!' (the audience shout that if a character can't find someone who's standing right behind them.) It's also traditional to boo and hiss when a bad guy's on the stage, and sometimes sweets get thrown into the audience, too. Ah, as a performer, the amount of pantomimes I've been in... I'm really reminiscing now!

There are differences in the word 'tramp' too - a woman you'd call a tramp we'd know as a slut or a slag, but a tramp to us is a homeless guy, so a bum or a hobo.

It also says in this book 'UK - wonky = US - unstable'. Ah, wonky! I think of wonky not so much unstable, more if, say, a picture on the wall is slightly offset... it's wonky. It's hard to explain!

Ahh! It really does go on!

I think English people tend to know more American words and idioms because of the vast American tv shows and films (or 'movies'!) that hit our screen. It's the same reason a lot of foreigners end up learning English with an American accent. Not many of the word differences were a surprise to me - I guess what I find more surprising is that so many English words I take for granted aren't even used in the US or in other countries! I never expect to go across the pond and say something like 'that picture's wonky' only for people to look at me blankly. The differences are amazing!

Tally ho, chums!

Q x

I've been eating so much...

But exercising too, which I suppose is ok. But still... being at home seems to prompt such a difference in the way I eat. It's probably because there's actually stuff to EAT in this house, true, but I reckon it's because there aren't any skinny pretty girls floating around and stealing everyone's love, respect and attention because of the way they look. Here, I get my parents' love, respect and attention just for being myself. I don't need to starve myself to prove my self-worth. Bit of a sob story, eh?

I still want to be thin though.

I do feel a bit worthless in my uni house. I mean, you get girls like them, who are pure sex objects (or at least befriended for being attractive), but then you get girls like M, who to the boys is 'one of the lads', a completely non-threatening girl they can be themselves around. Where do I fit in? I've been told I'm not 'one of the lads' (which I'm thankful for as I try to be quite feminine) but I'm nowhere near as hopelessly perfect as the pretty skinny crew. What do they see when they look at me?

I guess I'm overthinking it all. I'm just a friend.

A couple of you have been asking about the articles I've been nattering about recently - the Vanity Sizing one I'm pretty sure was in Cosmo, and I couldn't find it online. The thin-girl one was in the 'Style' magazine that comes with and is branched off The Sunday Times, but whilst I seemed to be able to perfectly access their website only a couple of hours ago, they're now telling me I need to be signed-up and paying to view the content! Cheek. I love magazines but I absolutely detest their websites. They'll often say in the magazine: 'what happened next? Go on cosmopolitan.co.uk to find out!' or 'for tips on how to achieve the perfect blow dry, look on glamour.com!' or other such rubbish, then when you go on the site, said features are nowhere to be found. In fact, it's all just one big clunky mess. This even seems to apply to lower papers and magazines - hell, even my student newspaper has an absolutely rubbish website. My friend wrote a review of one of our dance shows and whilst she was promised it was online and the editor could clearly see it, I couldn't find it at all. Pas bien! I am not impressed.

Interestingly I can't even find the Style magazine now. Perhaps I am just completely round the bend.

Been reading a book of American and English word differences. It's fascinating, actually, as through blogging I've discovered there are so many words that I say that I didn't even know didn't exist in the US (e.g. slag, chav, etc.) and in this book there are differences I certainly didn't know about! At the beginning there's a bit of phrases to avoid so as not to offend anyone (for example, in Britain we call cigarettes 'fags' but I don't think that'd go down well in the USA... likewise, if Americans said anything about their 'fannies' we'd roll about laughing) and one of the phrases used in America seems to be 'shagging flies', when you're returning a baseball. Is that real?? That's hilarious! That would mean having sex with flies (i.e. the insect) here. I like the way the guy describes the phrase as Brits would receive it: 'this might not only sound obscene, but impossible.' Shagging a fly, impossible? Surely not...

Here are some other gems: what we call a wimp (a cowardly person), Americans apparently call a 'milquetoast'. Never heard that one on tv. I also never realised graham crackers were digestive biscuits. There's quite a biscuit difference, I swear - here, biscuits are sweet, and crackers are savoury, but I think in America biscuits are savoury and you call sweet biscuits cookies? Here, cookies are only the biscuits that have chocolate chips in them - or fruit, or nuts, whatever floats your boat. I like how 'Joe Blow' means 'Joe Bloggs' - Kanye West, you make sense now! Though I don't think that song you did with Jay Z and Rihanna would have the same ring with you going 'it's crazy how you go from being Joe Bloggs...'

I knew that lovebites are referred to by Americans as hickeys, but I swear more Brits are saying hickeys these days. Admittedly, lovebite sounds a bit cringey, but I'd prefer to stick to it - I don't think hickey sounds right said in an English accent! I didn't know prawns and shrimp were the same thing. No wonder we seem to always be eating prawns whilst Americans are always eating shrimp. Ahh, this book is too much fun! I could go on forever.

Luckily for you, I won't.

5 days til I'm off to Spain! I'm too, too excited. Keeping my fingers crossed for sun.

Over and out!

Q x

All the mirrors in my house are fat mirrors.

Fo' real. At uni I seem to have skinny legs. Here they look HUGE. They're stumpy and my thighs are massive. Today I went shopping and couldn't fit into size-10 shorts. ARGH. I go home for 2 days and I'm already getting fat.

Hellooo, workout DVDs!

Been reading another magazine article - they all seem to be relevant at the moment - and this one is about girls who don't really eat, like celebs, and possibly us, who get skinny and you (by 'you', they mean the normal eaters) have to look at them and know they're not healthy yet still feel inferior. They described this one girl's diet: egg whites for breakfast, sandwiches (but just eat the filling) for lunch, and sushi (but get rid of the rice - just eat the fish) for dinner. Hmm. Sounds doable. There was a great line at the end of the article. 'as Jones warns: "Every single one of us could develop an eating disorder in the future." The really worrying thing is that at least a handful of people reading this will be thinking: "Please let it be me."'

Hmm, true.

Went shopping today. Didn't try on many clothes, but a pair of size 10 shorts in H&M seemed snug. Ooer. I seem to be ballooning up before my Spain trip. Whyy? It's not fair.

On the plus side, workout DVDs are going well, though I got interrupted doing one today as I had to eat dinner. The downside of rigid meals.

Still excited to see if I can get my hair done. I'm really loving the dip-dye look. Here's Rachel Bilson working it:



I'm really optimistic it'll look good on me - both Rachel Bilson and Shenae Grimes have very similar hairstyles to me, i.e. long, curly with a centre or semi-centre parting, and similar skin tones too. I only fear it'll go wrong because I don't trust my hairdressers. But I guess I can ask them on the phone whether they can achieve it, and I'll bring that picture in, and this one of Grimes:


She seems to have it slightly more subtle, which looks nice. Supposedly the appeal is that it looks really natural as that's how sun-bleached hair grows out. Never would I have dreamed I'd want a hairstyle that guarantees roots!

Until tomorrow,

Q x

Home is where the heart is

So, back at home. Which means my mum is force-feeding me, standard. GOOD food, but a lot of it... ergh! I don't have the gym here, but I did bring home my workout DVDs, so I plan to do one every day. It's difficult to bag the living room to get the space for it, but I'll make it work. It's half past 8 now and my mum is still hanging around, but as soon as she goes off to bed (which'll be soon, knowing her) I can get in there before my dad... plan!

Really need to get buff for my Spain trip. I'll be able to start drinking from Friday, and I'm nervous about getting absolutely wasted on nothing - I'll have to cut down on the measures.

Just read a really depressing article in Cosmo. It was about vanity sizing - you know, when shops mark their clothes sizes as smaller than they are so you'll be more likely to buy the clothes out of delight. For example, say I fit into a size 6 dress - OMG, IT'S A SIZE 6, I MUST OWN IT! Oh god, I didn't realise how common it was! I wear size 10, but I could actually be a REAL size 12 - or a size 14, lord. Here are some quotes from the article:

'Women who store weight around their middle - the classic 'apple' shape - are more likely to suffer from a range of health problems, including high blood pressure. But thanks to the ever-changing nature of sizes in high-street stores, many 'apples' can still fit into modern size-10 clothes' <- I'm an 'apple'. And I'm a size 10. Must be a lie. OH LORD.
'A recent US study showed that nearly a quarter of all overweight women aged 18 to 25 see themselves as slimmer than they really are, proving how common a distorted self-image is - and misleading label sizes don't help.' <- am I even FATTER than I think I am??

Fat fat fat.

LOSE WEIGHT Q.

C'est tout!

Q x

Procrastination post

Should be doing an essay... ah well!

The social with the Lacrosse boys was surprisingly good considering I was sober. We were all worried they'd be laddish and rowdy but they were all surprisingly sweet - they seemed more scared of us than we were of them! I'd be happy to party with them again in future - they'll be with us on the Spain trip coming up very soon, along with all of the other sports teams, so at least we'll be able to see some familiar faces while we're out in obscure Spanish nightclubs. As for the net outfit... hmm, not bad. I looked a bit stupid at the end of the night as at the start, I'd pinned bits like seaweed and starfish to myself but they all came off and I ended up looking like I was simply draped in netting material. Hmm! Oh well.

I redid 200-day (first one was a fail due to late night munchies) and that wasn't bad at all - it's much easier if I do it on a day where I'm going out in the evening, as it prevents me from eating late at night. Today's 400, and so far I've eaten a bowl of cereal and had a coffee, which averages out to around 150 cals. Considering it's 2 o'clock in the afternoon, that's not too shabby!

I'm going home on Saturday and it's going to be hard to monitor my food intake, but I'll do my best. I can't wait to go home - although I have to sacrifice hardcore calorie-counting, it's nice to see my family and friends and just have some time for relaxation. And in 9 days I'm off to Spain! If I feel depressed about my weight, I just have to remind myself that this time last year, when I went to Spain, I was a stone heavier. So I've got to look better than I did then, right?

Ugh, you know what's depressing - there's this girl I've always wanted to BE, who's gorgeous and tiny and has amazing dress sense and is such a humble and lovely person, and she's recently changed her Facebook picture to one of her and her best friend sitting on a kerb outside a European nightclub - my god. If that picture finds its way on to a Thinspiration site, I wouldn't be surprised. They LOOK like those girls we aspire to look like, all tiny and perfect and relaxed, with their slender legs and arms and naturally blonde hair and gorgeous faces - arghhh. Life's not fair! They're naturally like that, too - they don't eat LOADS, but they eat normally, and they have small bones so they're naturally petite. I have small bones too but I've got so much FAT clinging to them - it's not fair!

Soon, I'll look like her. COME ON, Q. Use her as thinspiration if you need to.

Today's an essay day, but I'm going to the gym later! Why aren't I skinny yet! Life's unfair.

On a plus... people are starting to upload pictures of us dancing in dance rehearsals, ones that were taken offstage. Full-length pics. There's this one photo... you know when you're in motion, and you're a bit blurred at the edges? And that can either work in your favour or against you - the blur can either make you look twice as big as normal, or twice as small. I got lucky. A full-length picture I'm proud of! I know it's unnatural as I look like I've got small boobs (I wish I did - if I had the body I have in this pic I'd be so happy), but it's still great. I'm with 3 other girls and I look like the smallest in the crew. I guess the blur worked the other way for them. Ah, camera tricks! So much for 'the camera never lies'...

Alright, have to finish this essay now, and then get outside in the sunshine! It needs to be done.

See yaaa,

Q x

Caught in a net

Coupla dance show pics have gone up, ones taken backstage. I actually look sort of thin. Weird. Admittedly they generally only show my shoulders, arms and neck, which are the skinniest parts of me anyway, but still. I wonder what the professional pics will look like. I dread to think.

But the show itself... AMAZING. It went soooo well. We had the biggest audience we've ever had and people told me it was the best dance show they'd ever gone to see / been in. Chuffed!

I got on Ricky this morning. Oh man, he's being HARSH today. 9 stone 6! Say whaaat! I know I haven't been watching my eating as of late but... how can I put on so much weight just by eating normally?? What the hell is wrong with my body? Depressed. 2 4 6 8 FO SHO.

Today was 200. Think I went a bit over, but it was generally ok. Going to the gym tomorrow morning for Zumba and general workout, then I have a social in the evening... dressed as a net. Err, yeah... Dance is doing a joint night with the Lacrosse boys, and the theme is Deadliest Catch or something, so they have to dress as pirates or sailors or whatnot, and we dress as things you would catch in the sea... like nets, apparently. It's quite an easy costume, though, I just got some garden net from Wilkinsons and am preparing to wrap myself in it, as well as cutting little shapes to pin on it, like seaweed strands and starfish. Fingers crossed I'll look thin. Who knows! Erck.

Also have to have a picture taken of me tomorrow for editorial purposes in the student paper. It'll only be a face pic, so at least I don't have to be paranoid about looking skinny, but I bet it'll still be pretty gross. Ho hum.

Busy busy day!

On the plus side, I've been cleared to go to Malaysia in summer to see my family, woop! I'll have to take one of my exams in August, but I don't mind that at all. Hooray! I haven't been in so long - I can't wait to prove I can actually eat Asian food these days, unlike when I was a kid!

Big up,

Q x

I'm rubbish at blogging.

I'm sorry I haven't posted in aaages. It's my usual excuse, but I've been SO busy. This week has been full of so many highs and lows, but I've also taken on some awesome opportunities for my last year at uni - I won't be heading the dance troupe any more, but I'll be editing the Fashion section of the student newspaper and working with loads of people in my Student Union to promote societies and stuff. It's really exciting. I can't wait.

Speaking of dance, the show's TOMORROW, ergh. I'm dreading the pictures already. I was rubbish at doing the liquid fast with my busy-ness - I just forgot. I'm too scared to weigh myself as I know I've put on weight. After the show, I'm back on the 2 4 6 8. It's the only thing that seems to really work with weight loss, and I need to be skinnier for my Easter trip to Spain with the dance girls. They're so hot, it'll be mortifying to be the dumpy one with them. I've also got loads of formal events after Easter, Awards ceremonies and parties, so I need to get a hot dress and look super skinny. I haven't been hitting the gym much without any time, but after the show, it's on!

I had a dream last night I was Annie from 90210 (I've been loving that show as of late) and I was going in a hot tub with all the other girls, so like, Naomi, Silver, Adriana, those kind of people (if you watch it). They're all so painfully skinny and gorgeous. In the dream once I stripped off I had MY body (so, Q's body, not Annie's) and I was thinking, oh god, they must all be wondering how I got so FAT. I was really quite depressed when I woke up. I wish I was as skinny as them.

Promise to post more regularly! I'll definitely let you know how the show goes, at any rate. I need to do some serious catching-up of everyone's blogs, too. Hmm, know where my Sunday's just gone...

Q x