OMG FOOD.

I hate work. Hate hate hate. GET ME AWAY FROM FOOD. Get me away from FAT.

Last night... last night I thought fuck it and ate so much Chinese food my stomach ACHED. In a weird way, I don't regret that too much. I was out with friends, I was celebrating... I want to be able to keep that. I want to be able to keep being social and not look like some loser lettuce-loving calorie counter... I want to be able to go out and indulge once in a while and spend time just concentrating on being with my FRIENDS, not the zillions of calories pouring into my body. 'Naa mean?

That's why I don't think I have an eating disorder. I cherish the days I can keep on doing that before the food obsession becomes too much.

But anyway, back to work. OH FOOOOOOOD. I must've eaten... oh lordy... half a sausage sarnie for brekkie (is that 100-cal? God only knows), biscuits, little bites of pasta and lamb and flipping mini scones AND then a sandwich... I don't need that much food!! Binge alert!

Tonight I'm going to the cinema with a friend, so I've told the parents I'm eating out. Maybe I can avoid the popcorn if I put some effort in.

I went through a clothes section of a shop today and all I was thinking was, god, when I'm tiny I'll look great in those... but not yet. Mmm, motivation. I WILL get to size 6... I'll be a standard size 8 by Halloween, I'm determined, and it'll keep getting better from there. Yes.

I'm going back to uni soon. If Boy still wants me, I'll get skinny for him. I'll be some hot little piece of arm candy he can show off to his friends. If Boy doesn't want me (probably because of the jiggle I'm carrying around)... I'll get skinny so I can show him what he's missing. And I'll look super-hot to every other boy so I can pull and make him jealous. Yes. Plan.

(Will explain the whole Boy thing eventually... can't be bothered right now.)

Note: DON'T EAT ANYTHING ELSE TODAY.

Too scared to face Ricky.

Q x