Noodles for dinner

Was dreading seeing Ricky this morning.

"Mornin' fatty... mate, you do NOT deserve to lose any weight after how much of a pig you were yesterday. Sunday roast? Really? And it's not like you stopped after that... binging on all that pastry stuff? You'll be lucky to ever drop below 9 stone. However, I'm in a good mood. I'm feelin' nice. Hell no, you haven't lost weight... but I haven't let you put any on either. Count your lucky stars and try HARDER if you want to get skinny, fat girl."

So... still 9 stone 6 lbs. Thank you Ricky, thank you!

So, tonight I'm going out for a belated birthday meal with my friends, at a restaurant I love but don't go to too often. You want the good news or the bad news? The bad news - it's a Chinese restaurant. I'm pretty sure Chinese food isn't the healthiest of the lot. However, the good news... it's a buffet. Literally eat as much as you want. So I can give myself tiny portions, and maybe balance out the plate to LOOK like I'm eating a lot lest my friends suspect something... B will probably be on the watch, but I can make it look OK. No fear.

I've got work at 6.30 in the morning tomorrow, ugh. I won't be specific about my work (remember, I'm staying pretty ambiguous) but I'll say this; I work with food. A lot of food. And I have pretty much complete access to all that food... no-one would bat an eyelid if I ate myself to an early grave on one shift alone. In fact, it's practically encouraged.

Work is my weakness. I've got round this before, avoiding breakfast or just eating a yoghurt (shame they're full-fat) and then having soup for lunch... but it's difficult when people think you're mad if you're not sampling every dish available. I really don't want to draw attention to myself... arghhh. Only 4 more shifts then I'm back in my uni house... only 5 more days and then I'm FREE...

I keep hearing that people who don't eat breakfast are more prone to putting on weight because of the whole starvation-mode malarkey, so I'm limiting myself to low-cal breakfasts at the mo (100 cal at the most). This morning it was a wee bowl of cornflakes with a cup of coffee. Can't be too bad, right? I'll be sure to eat basically nothing for lunch if I'm going out for a meal tonight, and I'll try to squeeze in some exercise around a shopping trip with the mother to get uni stuff... let's impress Ricky!

I was youtubing around this morning and came across a vid I haven't seen in AGES... the song's alright, but the video is JAMMED with thinspiration, particularly the main girl... oh man, that girl is SMOKING hawt. If I could have the body of anyone, it'd be her! Hang on, let me find the link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAtW0hua9rE

Swear, the bloke in the video is made of stone for staying pretty unresponsive to all that. I'm not a lesbian, but DAMN, I would. Or rather, I'd starve myself to look like her.

Phwoar.

Q x